creds to: @rad.slime .
[ also if your mood easily changes don't read this bc this is lowkey depressing 💀]
you know when you just like,, you know you suck? like not i'm depressed or anything i just am aware of who i am. i'm just not at all that great? you know? and that's also why my crush doesn't like me. like i just am aware that i suck. like i'm still kinda bummed out about my crush getting a gf when i kinda thought i had a chance with her, but i know why she didn't go to me. and that just makes it worse. like. man i suck. i'm a big fool and i'm a buster 💀
i'm sorryshshdhs i genuinely laugh at my problems because most of them happened bc of me 💀💀💀 idk what's so funny about self deprecating jokes but it's great!! my problems are so funny to me and i take them as a joke because i am a joke myself. it's mainly my fault so i laugh at how stupid i am in general for letting that happen.
for example letting myself like her even though i knew damn well from the start i had no chances with her. and what's so upsetting about her new gf is that i know she's better than me. both of them are better than me. both her and her gf are. and i know i don't expect anything from myself but come on? i know i suck but damn. i really know now that people don't give a shit. i know im not the best person but i love you so much? :( why did she have to get someone so much better than me i feel like i have to outdo her so i can get my crush back but i dont know,, i just want my crush :/ i want to be a better person because of her. i wanna do better things. i mean. i used to feel like that. she truly did make me happy until.. that happened. it felt so terrible. my heart broke into a million pieces. i still feel like i'm not good enough :( i want to be a good person but i dont know if this will be enough for my crush. tbh i lowkey like the idea of being alone but... i also want to spend to rest of my life with my crush. she's so beautiful. she's close to perfect. she's an angel. the thought of being with her all the time sounds better than being alone my whole life. yikes this is depressing. tragic. im gonna continue this in another post tomorrow or soon.
Arrived the office one hour before work and studied
Studied during lunchtime (if i think that i have limited time considering 24hours, i would skip the meal)
I will work out and paint when i get home. Because i am desperate for no reason maybe due to my greed😩
.. See already finished my lunch time. 1hour is like 0.0001 seconds 是不是疯了😑 back to work ! ! ! 要是有多时间就好了 진짜 학생때가 좋다 이제 그말을 알겠네 진짜 진심 매일 하루 뼈저리게 뼈시리게 느낀다 정말. 고통이야 고통이여 진짜 시간은 금중에 금이다 한시간이 무슨 일초임 #lunchtime#backtowork#studyworkstudywork#ciao